Former drummer of Nirvana and lead singer of Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl, recently took to his official Instagram account to announce that he had become the father to a baby girl outside of his marriage.
It came as a shock to many, as Grohl has upheld a public image of being a good guy, often being referred to as “the nicest man in rock and roll.” His public confession seemingly came out of nowhere, and many are confused as to why a private matter was made public.
This comes at a sensitive time for the band, who have gone through some challenges over the last few years. From tragically losing their drummer Taylor Hawkins in 2022, to recently coming under fire after calling out the Trump campaign for using their song “My Hero” without their permission, this serves as another blow.
However, given the extreme reaction to the news, does that mean we should stop listening to Nirvana and Foo Fighters? If we choose to do that, what does that say about the way we perceive celebrities and the things we expect of them?
As a user on the stan culture side of Twitterr, the post was everywhere in the rock community within an hour of being posted. The reaction that I saw was a mixed bag, but one that revealed the parasocial qualities of fan behavior.
Many fans directed their outrage at Grohl because of his family’s presence on social media. With his wife, Jordyn Blum, Grohl has three daughters. His daughters can be found posting videos and pictures with him on TikTok and Instagram. Tons of comments fill these posts, typically from his fans, praising Grohl for being a good father who doesn’t take himself too seriously. He can also be found on the profiles of fans who are lucky enough to meet him, taking pictures and videos of their one-on-one interactions. The captions on these posts always fall along the lines of how friendly Grohl is and how honored they were to be in his presence.
On the other hand, some fans didn’t care all too much, claiming that it is almost the “norm” for rock stars to do something like this owing to the rebellious lifestyle, even if that stigma has long disappeared. Grohl is not the first (and certainly not the last) celebrity to be exposed for infidelity, especially within the rock scene. Another factor fans were quick to bring up was the fact that Grohl has had a history of infidelity in his past relationships. But is that really any of our business?
Those who admire Nirvana and Foo Fighters on these stan culture spaces were quick to change their username or profile picture to remove any association with Grohl. It was their way of being angry at him and shunning him for the time being. But in doing so, it showed how some fans felt as though they were personally victimized by Grohl.
As with any big scandal or event, memes and jokes spread like wildfire, most likely as a method of “coping.” Fan accounts mentioned having to take a break from social media because of how upset they were, while others expressed their sympathy for his family and moved on. There
seemed to be a general agreement that while they acknowledge what he did was wrong, we can still support him and his music.
If that’s the case, then why did we all feel a sense of sadness wash over us at the thought of this happening in the first place? Why did we feel disappointed in him?
What we saw through the media was enough to convince people that Grohl could do no wrong, and there is some empathy within that treatment, given all the tragedy that has occurred in his life. Therefore, a human connection that fans believe goes beyond the normal celebrity and fan interaction is established. To many, Grohl is more than a musician. In him, they see a father, a friend or a life-saving figure. But since we make up this image of him in our heads, we get let down when something like this happens. We can’t hold a celebrity to this standard and expect them to be a saint.
What we fail to remember is that celebrities are human too. No human is perfect. People are bound to make mistakes and do things that will hurt others, and there is no excuse for that. When it comes to the celebrity, we as fans never know the whole story, and frankly, it’s none of our business. At the end of the day, his family is the one who suffers as a result of his actions, not the fans.
Grohl is a musician, we like him because he makes good music and his musical talents have nothing to do with what happened. If he happens to be a good guy, then so be it. Tons of artists have done things that are considered morally wrong, and still have a massive fanbase. It happens to other beloved musicians, actors and directors.
“Separate the art from the artist” is becoming a popular sentiment with the rise of cancel culture. It’s typically reserved for people who have done things that we see as wrong, but even that statement can be subjective depending on who it is and how their fanbase feels.
Regardless, fans will continue to create an image of their favorite celebrities to be picture-perfect, but it’s not that simple. As much as we may think we “know” our idols, we don’t know the half of it.
