In the A24 film “Past Lives,” Nora (Greta Lee) explains the Korean term “inyeon,” which is the notion that the ties between two people in their past lives have led to a connection between them in their current life. As a child, Nora and her family immigrated to Canada from South Korea. Now, Nora is a writer in New York City and lives with her American husband, Arthur (John Magaro). When Nora’s childhood crush turned long-distance friend turned stranger, Hae-sung (Teo Yoo), comes to visit her in New York after decades of separation, the pair revisit their time spent together in a past life. The film explores Nora and Hae-sung’s brief, yet emotional reunion and how it shifts their understanding of love and connection.
For Nora, Hae-sung brings back memories of her past life and all of the what-ifs of how her life could have been had she stayed in Korea. In one scene where Nora is laying in bed with Arthur, he tells her that she talks in Korean in her sleep. Nora’s dreams are Korean, but her reality — the one she is living with Arthur — is in English. Nora doesn’t see this as a sad thing, though. Instead, she claims that where she ended up is where she is supposed to be. However, when Hae-sung leaves New York, Nora bursts into tears in her husband’s arms. Rather than a cliche moment where the two separated lovers rekindle their relationship after years of distance, director Celine Song offers us a realistic ending for a first-generation immigrant like Nora, highlighting that the past can only ever stay in the past.
The cinematography of “Past Lives” is simple; Song doesn’t choose to do anything revolutionary. Rather, the film opts to be entirely ordinary, which is why it feels so real. Nora and Hae-sung don’t let dramatic expectations overthrow the lives they have created for themselves. In fact, the most beautiful thing about this film is the mutual decision to end their relationship. On their last night together, Hae-sung says to Nora, “You had to leave because you’re you. And the reason I liked you is because you’re you.” While heartbreaking to watch in the moment, there is a certain comfort in seeing Nora and Hae-sung make the mature decision to leave their connection behind and continue to build lives independent of each other.
Connection is central to the human experience; it is how we find meaning in life and interact with the world around us. However, losing a connection hurts. Whether it be a family member, friend or lover, it is often hard to accept the temporary nature of relationships. The question of “what if?” is centrally positioned in our culture, forcing us to reminisce about what could have been if things had gone differently. Reality, though, is not so kind as to offer us the chance to linger on what-ifs. Time passes as steadily as life changes.
It may be tempting to concoct fantasies and fairy-tale endings about life and love, always hoping for a certain outcome. However, the beauty of “Past Lives” lies in the fact that Nora and Hae-sung do not act on their fantasies, even though they very well have the opportunity to do so during their reunion. This isn’t right or wrong — it just is. It is a fact that Nora’s family immigrated to Canada. It is a fact that she became a writer in New York. And it is a fact that she is now married to Arthur. Thinking about what-ifs, while sentimental and romantic, is entirely unproductive.
Every experience Nora has lived through led her to her current life; she is entirely unable, and maybe even unwilling, to change those experiences and subsequently change the outcome of her life. Through this semi-autobiographical film, Song tells us that past lives are something to revisit and reflect on, not to relive. Further, we must accept the reality of our lives and embrace where we are today because the only path in life is forward.
