College dating isn’t easy, especially at Fordham University, where it feels like everyone knows everyone. Pick a random student, any student, and go through their mutuals on Instagram. I guarantee that you’ll see at least 10 people you recognize. It feels as though we all have some type of connection with each one of our peers, regardless of the campus.
The chances of finding someone who you think is attractive are pretty high, but whether or not it’ll work out is another story. Online dating, especially at Fordham, is on the side of fleeting relationships. Granted, I’m inexperienced in this regard, so I did the next best thing anyone in my position would do: start interviewing people about their thoughts on online dating here.
When asked about the dating scene, Abigail Morin, FCRH ’28, said, “If you’re looking for a relationship, this is not the place to be. This is casual central, if you even want to call it that, it’s more like rotation central.” This seems a bit extreme in my opinion, but definitely true. If you sit around the cafeteria long enough, you will likely overhear stories from students about people they met that weekend that don’t go beyond anything casual.
When asked if they use dating apps, Valentina Diaz, FCLC ’28, commented, “I’ve used dating apps to meet people, but not to get in a relationship with them. It’s just to get out of my regular routine.” There’s a good amount of people who use dating apps for this reason, however, it is important to indicate that to those we meet. They can then understand what the other person is looking for, so they can determine how to move forward. Personally, I walk up to people and talk to them once I find enough confidence to get the first word out. The first word is the hardest. Online dating apps take this aspect away.
Instagram should also be included in what is considered a dating app because once Instagram was added to the questions about dating apps, answers changed. In fact, Yaleska Rodriguez, FCRH ’28, was an interviewee, and my conversation with her went like this: “Do you use dating apps?” She pretty quickly responded, “No.” I then asked if she included Instagram and direct messaging in her attempt to meet people online, which goes beyond the traditionally known dating apps, she almost immediately said, “Yes.”
We had a good laugh over that but it proves my point. Instagram, at Fordham at least, counts as a dating app. We’ve all seen someone ask to be sent somebody’s profile, or for someone to connect us to someone we find attractive. It’s certainly something I have done if walking up to them doesn’t work.
Online dating presents a persona similar to how Instagram highlights pieces of ourselves but not necessarily who we are as people, hence why I’m team “No Dating Apps.” Avery Cox, FCRH ’28, had a good response when asked if online dating presents a persona or who they are as a person. “I feel like it’s more based on an online persona, people get online to show off. In this type of sense, they promote an image and not who they are as a person, creating a sense of lust, not love. This doesn’t make for a long-term relationship because of the mess up of lust and love,” she said. If we fall for the superficial, the relationship will be superficial. It won’t be something lasting, it’ll be a fleeting relationship which is the energy that dating apps foster.
In fact, many people do not even consider meeting up with many of the people that they meet online. Rodriguez said, “I’d have to get to know them better because you can’t really trust what you see online.” This follows a similar notion as Morin and Diaz, who both had reservations about meeting up with people they met online since they didn’t feel like they fully knew who they were as people.
The trend here is that meeting up with people depends on how the conversations go in direct messages or on dating apps. If the vibe isn’t there, it just won’t happen. Similarly, if they turn out to be a horrible person, it’ll be time to go ghost and never look back. The best way to put college dating here is in the words of Cox, “If I see someone I like in person, I try to keep it in person, not really online.”
