By Tara Martinelli

“Home for the holidays.” For some, this phrase gives a sense of warmth and comfort. For others…stomach ulcers. The kick-off to the holiday season is rapidly approaching in the next few weeks and no matter who you are, I guarantee you have some feelings of anxiety about going home.

For a lot of students, Thanksgiving is the first time we are seeing most of our family since we left the homestead back in August. “Home for the holidays.” For some, this phrase gives a sense of warmth and comfort. For others…stomach ulcers. The kick-off to the holiday season is rapidly approaching in the next few weeks and no matter who you are, I guarantee you have some feelings of anxiety about going home.

For a lot of students, Thanksgiving is the first time we are seeing most of our family since we left the homestead back in August. For me, I haven’t seen my little sister since she went to school for the first time, and I’m a little terrified she’s turned into the worst kind of freshman girl on Earth; we all know the type, but I digress. The point is that we don’t always know what we’re going home to and our families may not totally recognize the person coming to the dinner table on Nov. 23. Don’t worry, take a deep breath. We are going to get through this together.My first piece of advice is simple: censor yourself. While this may seem obvious, when the wine gets flowing and people ask for stories, you can sometimes forget that you’re not hanging out with your friends anymore.

It sounds ridiculous, but other than when you’re physically in the classroom, you are surrounded by only people your age 24/7. Your mom knows that you just might have done something of which she wouldn’t 100% approve. That doesn’t mean she wants to hear about the time you woke up on the bathroom floor next to a full pizza with nothing but the crusts eaten.

To be honest, it probably wasn’t your worst Tuesday night.Going home to just your immediate family for the first time can be nerve wracking alone. However, we open up a whole other can of worms when we introduce the rest of the crew to the table. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and the lonely next door neighbor will probably be sitting around you and asking you to pass the cranberry sauce while also sizing you up more aggressively than anyone ever has in a bar. You’ve probably talked to your immediate family weekly since you came to school (if you haven’t, I pray for you as you go home to a pissed off mother and father), but nobody else knows a thing about what your life has been like for the past three months. If you enter the situation with the mentality that you’re entering an interrogation room, you just might make it out alive with the same amount of self-love and respect as when you began.

Things that your family is going to ask you about: your classes, your friends, your grades, your love life, your eating and sleeping habits, your social life and pretty much every move you’ve made since August. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not only because they are trying to read into every little thing you say and catch you in lies or to try to see if you’ve changed at all. A lot of times, your older relatives just want to live vicariously through you. College may very well have been the best time of your aunt’s life and she would give anything to go back to her closet sized dorm room and drink PBR with her friends.

Tell her some fun stories and bond over your mutual love of the college life-style. You might get an awesome Christmas present if you do.Whether you’re a freshman or a senior, your time at Fordham has changed you. Maybe you’ve found a new passion in something you never have before. Maybe you have a new love interest and are very much dreading the possibility of seeing your high school ex-boyfriend or girlfriend at a party. Maybe you’ve put on a few pounds from your personal challenge of trying every sandwich at Rams Deli. Its fine, you’re fine. I remember going home around this time freshman year. My mom told me that my nose changed in the last three months. People will come up with all sorts of reasons to tell you that you’re different.

Be confident and content with person you were, the person you are and the person you’re becoming. Mom, there’s literally no way my nose has changed.Maybe what you’re looking forward to the most is seeing your high school friends. What I have found is that this is especially true for freshman. You’ve started a whole new life away from the people you spent 18 years with and quite frankly, you want to brag about how much fun you’re having and how amazing your new home is. It’s normal, it’s natural and believe me, it sucks. It’s the most competitive and petty environment you’re going to put yourself in and you might feel kind of crappy after. Just know in your heart that there’s no place like Fordham and that the most important thing is that you’re happy (and obviously, you know that no one can be having as much fun as you).Although it seems scary, you really should be psyched to go home.

You’re going to be able to eat so much food and not worry about meal swipes. Your mom is probably going to do your laundry and won’t lose any of your socks. And you are going to feel so loved from the people who are bending over backwards to be able to send you to this awesome school. It’s the time of year when we all reflect on what we’re thankful for. Be thankful for your family and be thankful for your Ramily. You wouldn’t be who you are today without either of them.