It is safe to say that a significant portion of Fordham’s students are fearing the imminent arrival of Valentine’s Day on Feb. 14. For those Rams who are single, this celebration of love may very well serve as a painful, 24-hour marker of their loneliness. For those Rams who do have a partner, this day of romance may require them to break their piggy banks in the name of making their partner smile. However, Valentine’s Day is not just challenging for those of us with or without someone to love. It’s also challenging for those of us who value and practice ethical consumption.
Take, for instance, the challenges faced by one who enjoys those chalky candy hearts that are somehow simultaneously both the greatest and worst thing that you have ever tasted. They are an adorable gift to give or receive, but the facts of their production are nothing but ugly. The candies are made with some rather unsavory ingredients (they are pumped full of highly-processed artificial dyes) and probably arrived in your hands (or the deep, forgotten recesses of your pocket) via vehicles that emitted high levels of fossil fuels. Thus — Candy hearts? Yes! Buying goods that come from the destruction of human lives and the environment? No!
In fact, this exact dilemma seems to be at the heart of Valentine’s Day itself. Just about every aspect of it relies on some form of (unethical) consumption that the consumer is effectively goaded into via marketing. Want to make your partner happy? Well then, just buy them these chocolates and teddy bears that were made in a fossil-fuel, union-busting factory. Want your newly divorced mom to not feel totally left out from all the merry and love-filled festivities? It’s probably best if you send her an (in)edible arrangement made of fruit grown and chocolate harvested by child laborers in some underdeveloped South American or African country that was torn apart by colonialism. Want to have an unforgettable and adventurous night full of passion? Boy, does that shady store tucked away in the depths of the West Village have a pair of fuzzy pink (and microplastic-filled) handcuffs for you. In essence, for those lovers who are interested in ethical consumption, Valentine’s Day has turned into a nightmarish labyrinth — one whose walls and paths are built from material goods produced, transported and purchased through less-than-savory processes.
However, the remedy to all this rests in the very idea of prioritizing experiences above material goods. In other words, if one wants to celebrate Valentine’s Day to the max, whatever this may look like to them, their best chance at doing so in an ethical manner almost certainly lies in consuming experiences, not goods. To be sure, experiences may not necessarily be wholly free of unethical dimensions either, but they certainly act as a better alternative to material consumption. Going to an art gallery and talking pretentiously about a Klimt or Monet painting with a partner, for instance, is a rather lovely way to bond over common interests, insights and experiences (think Ferris Bueller and Sloane!). Taking a scenic hike with a loved one is another extremely rewarding experience that one can enjoy without necessarily having to worry about issues of exploitation. Even just going to a new or fancy restaurant that uses local ingredients may function as a nice alternative to unethical consumption (so long as the tip left to the underpaid waiters is generous!).
The memorial value of these more ethical experiences is also worth noting. While memories do tend to fade with time, they certainly last longer than some cheap chocolates that will melt in your partner’s car or some thrown-together bouquet of flowers that will wilt in a few days. They are something that you can keep coming back to time-and-time again, deriving happiness and joy from it as many times as you want — for all intents and purposes, that nice dinner or beautiful hike can last forever in your mind.
Considering all this, experiences then seem to be the best way to go when it comes to showing love and affection, or just even having an overall positive experience on Valentine’s Day. Avoiding material goods and giving priority to the experiential helps one avoid the difficulty and guilt that may come with vapid consumption while simultaneously providing the chance to grow closer and build long-term sources of happiness with your partner. And, as an added bonus, this focus on experiences may very well help to quiet your partner’s incessant badgering over when you are going to take them out on a nice, beautiful date — wherever and whatever that may be.
