Will the real Ramses please stand up? We at Fordham University have had enough of that imposter and adorable spotlight-stealing thief Ramses down at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill — it’s time for Fordham to show our horns and bring back a live Ramses. I’d like to preface this by saying that this is by no means an attack on our brave troops that brandish that surely stuffy Ramses costume at every Fordham event; I just think it would be cool to have a real ram marching alongside you guys to rile up school spirit. After all, two Ramses are better than one. With that being said, it is time to make my case for bringing back the ram.

Live animals have been shown to increase engagement between fans and a school — it is no wonder Fordham’s athletic glory days happened when Ramses was strutting and bleating around campus. Players and students love having a little fuzzy guy to root for. University of Georgia’s (UGA) dog Uga flies with the team and keeps spirits high on the road as an official player with his own jersey. Players even consider it an honor to sit in the same row as Uga. UGA class of 2019 graduate Charlie Woerner said, “I sat right next to him on the plane, that was really cool.” Uga is entrenched in every aspect of athletic life at the university; he’s in team photos and is an essential sideline presence — players and fans look forward to seeing him parading on the sidelines and cheering on the team with many forming lines to take a photo with him as writer Joe Kovac Jr. noted, “The longest line at the University of Georgia football team’s picture day is always the one with a droop-cheeked English bulldog.” Fans can’t imagine a world without Uga as whenever a new bulldog is brought in for a new tenure, they pile into the stadium for the collaring ceremony. Uga exists as a living embodiment of school spirit — the university owes a lot to that “damn good dawg.” With the love Uga gets, I think it’s time for us to bring back our own good ram.

My second case for bringing back the live ram is that it’s good marketing — Gabelli bros, you’re gonna love this one. Think about marketable mascots in sports — they’re all live animals. Why? People love animals. Live animals are also easier on the eyes; put Washington’s Dubs next to the overgrown bird known as the Phillie Phanatic, who Bleacher Report described as “much like the people of Philadelphia themselves, the Phillies Phanatic isn’t always particularly pretty to look at.” This isn’t to say our current Ramses is ugly, this is just to say that live animal mascots are proven to be cuter; they attract people because they remind us of our own pets. Real animal mascots also provide fans with a spectacle they usually wouldn’t see, making the game day much more special. You can always see a guy in a costume, but you can’t always see a bear strutting around in Waco, Texas. Fordham knows this, though, which is why back in 2011, Gabelli teased us with a surprise Ramses appearance.

My final case for why we should bring back a live ram is that the students of Fordham yearn for a ram. As evident by the numerous animal accounts around campus and the goose-mania that occasionally strikes the campus, the students here are deeply deprived of a school animal. I asked around my floor and 10 other students, and there was rounding support to reinstate the ram. Wesley Brown, FCRH ’27, said, “Yes, bring back the ram. No explanation is needed.” He even volunteered to clean the little guy. Michael Charney, GSB ’27, also agreed, saying, “Yes, but keep it away from Harvard.” Jenna Vazanna, GSB ’27, a noted orca fan, also agreed after I convinced her we could somehow house it in the Bronx Zoo. It could increase cooperation between us and introduce a well-needed ram exhibit. 

Now, before I conclude my argument, I know you’re wondering about the ethics of a live ram. That said, I think Fordham can follow the steps of Colorado State University and UNC Chapel Hill by devoting proper care to their rams. Fordham can afford to give Ramses his own space, and I’m sure students here are eager to volunteer to make sure he’s loved and tended to. Ramses won’t be a circus attraction here; he’ll be a key member of the Ramily. To President Tania Tetlow, we here at Fordham would like our ram back — and to the current Ramses, we still love you, but imagine if there were two of you maximizing the Ram spirit.