There’s nothing I love more than when a song captures me so perfectly that I simply cannot help but listen to it on repeat to no end. My most recent musical hyperfixation of this kind has been “Vodka Cranberry” by Conan Gray.
Beginning with the soft riff of the guitar, we are immediately transported to the world of the song. The first verse explores all of the little things that Gray is noticing in his partner as the relationship spirals out of his control. With his master’s degree in yearnology, Gray is no stranger to the art of noticing. “It’s in the way you say my name / So quick, so straight, it sounds the same / as the time we took a break,” he sings, calling attention to the slightest changes in tone of this person, showing him how they truly feel.
When he reaches the first chorus, it’s like the first breaking point as he desperately asks this person to “speak up” because he cannot bear to sit in the uncomfortable silence of their relationship any longer. “I know you hate me,” Gray proclaims, begging them to just admit what he already knows. “Speak up, don’t leave me waiting. Got way too drunk off of vodka cranberry.” He’s just sitting and waiting to be left, drowning his sorrows in liquor and watching this person pretend everything is fine. Finally, when he feels like he’s had enough, he ends the chorus saying, “If you don’t end things / then I will.”
The second verse starts with “Now I look dumb, and you look mean,” showing how he feels stupid for staying in this relationship that is obviously long over. However, he still doesn’t hate this person; he just knows that from an outsider’s perspective, his partner looks mean. After remarking on how they slowly took back their things, Gray says, “Yeah, I noticed that. Yeah, I notice everything you do.”
When we finally reach the bridge of the song, Gray repeats “I will,” talking about how he will end things if the other makes him, even if he might not want to. After he entrances us with angelic riffs, he hits a note so high, scientists saw his voice land on the moon. Watching him hit that note live at his VMAs performance is life-altering and a must-watch.
My obsession with this song led me to explore the rest of the “Wishbone” album, Gray’s most recent work, released this past August, and believe me, it is worth it. I was never a Gray fan necessarily, but consider me recruited because wow, what a masterpiece. Conan, I’m so sorry, but I was not familiar with your game. Everyone, especially the yearners, needs to give this album a listen, particularly if you’re a “Vodka Cranberry” or Conan Gray fan.
