By Catherine Swindal
It’s always weird when things come to an end, even the small routines, like writing a biweekly column for The Fordham Ram.
While my friends back home are preparing for finals, Spring Weekend and finally having some good weather for once before the summer begins, I face my last five weeks in Granada. This time, much more so than an average semester, is beginning to seem precious. I always like reflecting on things when they’re done, but with my junior year coming to an end, I’m starting to think of what I’ve learned while being here.
My last semester spent at Fordham did not serve my luck well. With my chronic anxiety only increasing, I went through a lot of adjustments with my relationships, both with others and with myself. I was unhappy most of the time, and I yearned to come to Granada and leave everything behind, including any problems I may encounter.
Of course, that goal was rather unrealistic. My soul yearned to be happy, but my body was not. I was also unhappy due to an unfortunate event that happened in Morocco that made me seriously uncomfortable with my identity, and I just couldn’t shake it. I cried a lot and felt like this wasn’t what study abroad was supposed to be for me. I thought I had left the country for a reason. And only new problems were appearing.
One day, in the midst of this, my host mom, Conchi, sat with me in the kitchen and told me something I really needed to hear. She told me that I am a lucky kid. I have a wonderful family, great friends and a girlfriend whom I love. These are the things that matter, she said. She had a task for me: every day, wake up and remind yourself how lucky you are.
Since following her advice, my luck has only increased. For my final column for The Fordham Ram during my time abroad, I would like to make a small list, in no particular order, of how Granada has taught me how lucky I am.
My time here, despite the daily stress and the language barrier, has been the most relaxed I have ever been.
I have found new friends, whom it took me 4,000 miles away from Fordham to get to know, who are some of the most supportive people I will ever know. My mom is visiting me in Spain in six days. For these things, I am lucky.
My dad uses Facebook Messenger filters when he video chats me that makes him look like a pirate. Each text, Snapchat and FaceTime call from my siblings are now precious gifts to me. I think of my girlfriend every time I smell the daffodils in my favorite park. For these things, I am lucky.
I get to learn another language for what feels like the first time in my life. I get to walk around ancient cities and see runes older than I can even imagine. For that, I am lucky.
I get to talk to a wonderful host mom who cares about me and also makes me laugh like hell. For these things, I am lucky.
I got to walk 40 minutes in the dark uphill to see the best view of Toledo and pose in a new shirt with Starry Night on it. For that, I am lucky.
I got to pray to St. Teresa in her church in Avila. I got to sit in the Park of the Jesuits in Salamanca. I got to witness a procession for Semana Santa in Valladolid. For that, I am lucky.
I got to go on a Ferris wheel in la Feria de Abril in Sevilla and scream with delight. For that, I am lucky.
I feel like myself for the first time in a while. For that, I am lucky.
I get to slow down and realize how much bigger the world is than I previously thought. For that, I am lucky.
There are many people that have helped me through this journey of realizing my luck. The Fordham Ram allowing me to use their publication as a creative outlet has helped me process situations in Granada. I also want to thank all the people who make me feel lucky every day, those inside and outside of these four months in Spain. Those who give me animo, those who lift me up as a member of the LGBT community and those who have helped me through language barriers or culture barriers: I hold you in my heart, always, just as I will Granada and the country of Spain when I come back to the U.S.
I don’t know what to expect in these next five weeks. Maybe I’ll finally get a tan (chances unlikely). Maybe I’ll finally see a flamenco show. Things are unclear. But I know that tomorrow and the day after and continuing on, I will always have something to feel lucky for. And that is lucky in itself.
I am so grateful for this time I have had here in Granada, and its beauty, love and ability to instill “lucky-ception” to all who may enter.