By Caitlyn Letterii and Patrick Hood 

Join Caitlyn Letterii, a manic pixie dream girl, and Patrick Hood, a hooker with a heart of gold, as they explore and critique the cheap eats available around the Bronx and Rose Hill campus.
Since Pete’s Cafe’s tragic closing in 2015 the Fordham population wants breakfast goes to M&G’s I or II on Arthur Ave. to satiate their desire for the most important meal of the day. Since these spots are always pretty crowded and hectic, Sweet ‘n’ Sour, noted enthusiasts of unwindulaxing, hoped to find a more chill breakfast spot at Webster Cafe on Webster Avenue.
CL: With the yet to be determined election looming like a dark, ominous cloud over our heads, Patrick and I decided to escape it all this past weekend by remembering what really makes America great: kitschy diners.
PH: We’d never been to the Webster Cafe (WebCafe, for the initiated) and so we decided to broaden our brekkie horizons. Right away, we were impressed with the fun fall decorations they had: pumpkins, leaves and fake turkeys! I was in November heaven, baby! God, I love fall!
CL: You said it, sister. Webster Cafe has that traditional diner feel that we all know and love. There were small tables, a large booth reserved for groups and a classic diner counter. So this is a great spot for dining solo, impressing a date or spilling tea with your gals.
PH: It was like something straight out of an Edward Hopper painting. Nighthawks!
CL: But there was no creeping sense of disillusionment here. WebCafe was all smiles! One thing that really set this place apart was the wonderful and speedy service. Within minutes, I had a cup of hot black tea in my hands. I’m a young urban professional –
PH: Scum.
CL: – who is always is on the go, so when I go to a diner, I’m looking for efficiency so I can get my grub on and go collate some spreadsheets.
PH: This diner has traditional fare you would expect from such establishments, anything from pancakes to burgers to eggs, cooked just how you like ‘em.
CL: I like ‘em runnier than a nose in February! If you want a little treat for your peepers, be sure to turn the menu around and give the kid’s menu a gander. It was decorated with so much superhero clipart that I thought I had hacked into my older brother’s LiveJournal circa 1999.
PH: When you were four years old?
CL: I’ve always been a hackergrrrl. Anyway, I decided to order what I believe to be the true litmus test for any diner: two eggs any style with home fries and toast. Hot insider tip: this meal is on every diner menu and is always the way to get the most bang for your buck. I recommend going with eggs over easy and rye toast, as I always do.
PH: Just like my hero Barney the purple dinosaur, I like pumpernickel bread best. But Cait’s always been a rye witch.
CL: Guilty!
PH: I decided to embrace my proud Irish heritage and go with a classic Irish breakfast. White pudding, black pudding and sausage — the works! It also feels like a small and weird thing to note, but the toast was really quite good. The whole platter was savory and scrumptious, especially the tomatoes and black sausage. They were an even better combo than Mac Daddy (RIP) and Daddy Mac of Kriss Kross!
CL: My meal was also really tasty. The eggs were the easiest of overs and the potatoes and toast were just what I needed to start my day right.
PH: Well Crat, I think that just about covers it. You ready to drop another hot Sweet ‘n’ Sour rating on the masses?
CL: You bet your bottom dollar I am, Pat! Honestly, it’s not too complicated. This place was fun, fast and a rip-roaring good time for the whole family. I have no complaints and will certainly be coming again! Okay, well I actually have one complaint, I asked for tap water and never received it. But overall everything was great, so I give it a Sweet 4.5 out of 5 rating.
PH: I agree completely Caitlyn. The cafe got the job done and did it well to boot! The service was superb, the food was filling and it had that homey atmosphere that you always want in a breakfast joint. M&G’s better watch out because the WebCafe might just steal me away. For all of this, I award the Webster Cafe a Sweet rating of 4.8 out of 5 since there’s always room for improvement.

Recommendations:

Try the toast, black pudding, eggs any style and the home fries.
Pass on anything from the kids’ menu if you hate superheroes and fun.

General Info:
Webster Cafe
Address: 2873 Webster Ave, Bronx, NY 10458 (Across from Tinkers)
Phone number: (718) 733-9634
Hours: 6 a.m. –10 p.m.
Price: Cheap