In her 2022 memoir “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” Jennette McCurdy shares a candid account of her experience growing up as a child actor and navigating early adulthood in the public eye, amidst the influence of her intrusive and abusive mother, Debra. McCurdy possesses a compelling and digestible writing style. She explores her deeply personal struggles of eating disorders, addiction, grief and mental illness with an informal and comedic tone. McCurdy allows readers to step into the shoes of her younger self by telling the story through a first-person perspective in the present tense. While non-fiction, the narrative reads like a novel, pulling the audience into every moment. This book is composed of considerable dialogue and detailed scenes from her own memories. Each chapter reveals another layer of her complex relationship with her mother. The prologue opens with McCurdy’s inner thoughts during her mother’s final moments in the hospital. From there, the story is split into two parts: before and after her mother’s death.
McCurdy grew up in California with three older brothers — Dustin, Marcus and Scottie. She noted that she did not have a close relationship with her father, Mark. In the beginning chapters, McCurdy introduced the complicated and hostile dynamics in her family. From a young age, she took the responsibility of reading and regulating her mother’s unsteady emotions. Her mother’s unfulfilled dreams of becoming a famous actress transformed into immense pressure for her six-year-old daughter to start auditioning in the film and television industry. In addition to her strong acting talent, McCurdy’s ability to memorize lines quickly and take direction from adults helped her stand out to casting directors. She describes pivotal auditions and acting roles from her childhood as well as reflecting on how her work contributed to and improved the family’s financial hardship.
This book highlights the haunting reality of growing up in the entertainment industry. After many years of building her acting resumé with numerous types of jobs, she landed the leading role of Sam Puckett on the Nickelodeon show “iCarly” when she was only 14 years old. She developed a meaningful friendship with co-star Miranda Cosgrove. After “iCarly” ended, she continued playing this character in a spin-off series titled “Sam & Cat,” alongside Ariana Grande. She explained how actresses are often expected to become best friends with their co-stars, while the media constantly compares their work, personalities and appearances. Furthermore, she revealed a manipulative and controlling television executive whom she calls “The Creator.”
McCurdy does not sugarcoat any details about her life, some chapters emotionally difficult to read. Her mother introduced her to caloric recording and restriction at 11 years old to appear smaller for younger aged roles. These harmful patterns of thinking developed into chronic eating disorders. Most of the book depicts her mother criticizing and insulting her physical appearance and acting abilities. McCurdy grappled with alcoholism as a coping mechanism following her mother’s death. In the later chapters, she described codependent and complex romantic relationships in her teenage years and twenties.
Books written by celebrities may come across as detached from readers who live ordinary and private lives. However, “I’m Glad My Mom Died” is an exception because it features a casual writing style that makes the story feel much more intimate and relatable. This book is easy to read and fast-paced with 91 short chapters. Prior knowledge about her work in “iCarly,” Nickelodeon or McCurdy’s personal life are not required to read and enjoy this book. While there are many devastating and solemn themes in the book, the ending is primarily hopeful.
When she went to therapy as an adult, McCurdy began to identify her mother’s behaviors and actions as abusive. She continued to discover her own identity and values in the absence of her mother and decided to take a different direction in her career. “I’m Glad My Mom Died” provides a behind-the-scenes look into the life of Hollywood and fame, while underscoring messy and influential, yet nuanced mother-daughter relationships.