It’s possible people like to believe they are at a stage of self-awareness. But what does self-awareness mean? It is a skill in which individuals can see themselves from a third-person perspective, evaluating both their strengths and weaknesses.

Most of us like to believe that we’re self-aware of our actions when we are with others. However, have you ever been with others and one of them said something that affected you negatively? Are their actions well thought-out if they harm you? In that case, it’s essential to recognize self-awareness, especially with the people you surround yourself with.

When people speak about self -awareness, they often categorize it in terms of their strengths and weaknesses; how others perceive them, their emotions and their causes. Do you think that these qualities indicate who you are? Or do you think it is your surroundings that help you recognize things about yourself?

The answer to this question involves recognizing our surroundings and how we operate within them. How did we choose our friends? How did we choose our career paths? What are the factors that influence our daily lives? It’s essential to monitor our behavior towards ourselves and others. To me, that is key to being self-aware. When we understand ourselves, it’s easier for us to build perspective and positive self-esteem. Positive self-awareness helps us interact with others positively. However, this self-awareness unfortunately does not develop overnight.

Being self-aware takes time and experience. Throughout childhood, we begin to recognize our emotions, which develop into private and public self-awareness. Private self- awareness is developed through ourselves, so that others might notice, such as internal monologue, anxiety or something else that cannot be heard aloud. Public self-awareness is the ability to see how others perceive us. These self-awareness skills can have a significant positive impact on us in social settings. 

Often, self-awareness deepens during moments of discomfort: failure, heartbreak, rejection or unwanted change. These moments force reflection because the old way of seeing yourself no longer works. There were countless times when I realized that my failures or rejections helped me develop what I was missing. Without these harsh experiences, I would not have developed or changed for the better. With every rejection comes an opportunity to rebrace, rebrand and redirect. Life is not about being perfect and knowing what is right all the time, because most of us have no idea what is necessarily correct. However, one thing we do know is that we try our best to understand what is best and make every moment a new experience. Without being self-aware, you could grow older but still remain at the same maturity level as you were in high school or college. It is best to make mistakes and learn from them rather than trying to be perfect.​

Self-awareness feels like that pause. That sudden recognition or realization that you should stop or continue pursuing an action that will positively affect your lifestyle. I’ve seen similar shifts in others. Friends who once described themselves as hesitant or bad communicators later realized they were simply afraid of being misunderstood. Once they realized this behavior, they gradually opened up. They asked more questions, sought more clarification and became more out-going. It was awareness that led to intentional action.

One’s social environment also plays a role. People are encouraged to reflect on themselves and receive feedback in many different ways. Others may come to it later in life, when they are trying to improve themselves or break the same patterns, wondering why nothing in their lives is progressing. Most importantly, self-awareness isn’t a final destination — it’s an ongoing process. You never stop being self-aware or stop learning; you’re evolving every day, at any age.

Ultimately, self-awareness is not about critical judgment or constant self-analysis. Self-awareness is about understanding yourself. Allow yourself to recognize your needs, desires, strengths and weaknesses without your ego or your flaws taking over. The most self-aware people I know aren’t perfect; they are simply honest. They are willing to own up to their mistakes and their character, and to adjust when needed. They are not afraid of imperfection; they embrace who they are. With that, willingness is what defines self-awareness.

Bridgette Leahy, FCRH ’27, is a journalism major from Basking Ridge, New Jersey